golden
by Aros Sterling
Summary: all they want to do is protect jace. is that so hard?


alec felt uneasy, the room he shared with his parabatai was quiet, mostly. almost too quiet. alec sighed. it was rare if the room was quiet, jace was always constantly plagued by nightmare from his ptsd that he rarely slept and most nights cried himself to sleep if he did get some rest.

most days, hell every day he could feel jace's exhaustion sneak it's way through the parabatai bond the two shared. some days it would make him feel faint and lightheaded, make him dizzy as he would instinctively reach his hand to his little brother and she would send him an 'are you ok?' look.

on good days jace would nod or he would give a thumbs up. oh bad days he wouldn't react. he would stare into space and disassociate. but alec couldn't touch him. he did once and jace had a full on panic attack and cried for hours. alec never wanted to go through that again.

but it was too quiet in the room they shared. except the small pants that he heard—he shot up in his bed. he looked over to jace's bed. sure enough that's where the sound was coming from. alec was immediately out of his bed and over his brother. hands hovering over the small body.

jace looked so small and vulnerable and alec didn't know how to deal. his brother was the strongest person he knew besides his boyfriend, jace wasn't weak but he had been through a lot. he should have seen this coming. not sleeping, all the stress he had been under, the kid was bound to be sick.

the heat that was radiating off of jace was alarming. alec could feel waves of sick roll off of his brother through the parabatai bond. he took a shuttering breathe and placed a hand on his brother fore-head, watching the younger flinch.

"a-alec?"

alec did a double take, jace's voice was so gravely and it sounded so painful. jace looked awful to say the least, his eyes were bruised and purple, his face was always pale but this, he was so white, hair sweaty and plastered to his face as he was so skinny.

"a-ale-" jace started. he couldn't spit out his sentence. it felt like he couldn't breathe as he tries to usher out his words. "i'm gonna." please let alec know what he meant to say. please know, because i can't hold it down' he hope some of that remanence was echoed in his voice, he hoped.

"oh my god are you going to throw up?" alec finally figured out. as he searched his brother up and down and felt a wave of nausea sweep through his body from his brother. then he felt the utter embarrassment from his little brother.

jace nodded, teeth sinking impossibly deeper into his teeth as he tried to hold back the stream of bile that threatened at his mouth. he pressed his hand to his mouth looking at alec with begging pleading eyes, hoping that alec sensed some kind of disturbance before he pushed out a sentence.

"h-help?" jace asked as he pointed to the bathroom. he knew he couldn't walk to the bathroom because he was barely able to stand up so he took alec arm and he wrapped it around his torso to keep himself upright. finally becoming unfrozen alec brought his bat brother up to his feet and to the bathroom.

jace practically threw himself off of alec before dropping to his knees with a bruising force and retching into the toilet. the action painful on his stomach as he winced and wrapped a protective arm around his midsection as he projectile vomited. he felt an arm snake around his waist holding him upright as he expected bile and water and some remnants of his 'dinner' that he ate.

jace slumped back against his brother after an impossibly long amount of time hunched over the toilet heaving. alec could feel the utter exhaustion that plagued his little brother as he slumped against him. he could feel jace's chest heave as he tried to slow his breathing down to a sub-normal level.

"whoa, hey jace are you good?" alec knew it was a stupid question because he could feel how not ok his brother was (and also the skylight glare that his brother gave him as he asked that) and he knew it was a useless question. but he needed to know.

"ok," he tried changing the subject. "is this sick or nightmare?"

his only response was a shrug, barely. one armed but he didn't need to see jace to know he did it he could feel the slightly smaller one lift his shoulder and let out a small huff as he did so. clearly not in the mood for his brother to enter 'over protective big brother mode' at a normally ungodly hour.

"thanks jace, that really narrows it down. where are you sick the most?"

jace really didn't care to answer the question, he really didn't need alec worrying about him because he was fine. he didn't need a babysitter he needed his brother to stop ask him stupid questions and let him go back to sleep. he didn't even remember waking up his brother.

"nowhere, i'm fine. i thought i could," he stopped mid sentence, " never mind. i- it's nothing so you can forget about it. just please, don't let go, not yet."

there was something to be said about the complete and utter desperation in his parabatais voice, and the way it sounded like it physically pained his brother to speak and he wanted to just give jace love, and hold him until the world ended because yes he would do anything for his siblings—anything.

"it feels like a fever to me, so i will give you one last try before i invade our bond and find out. where are you sick the most and are you ok, are you done for now or do you need to...you know... be sick again," alec had never been comfortable with vomit but for his siblings he would do anything.

"i...i don't know, really i'm fine just tired and i can't _sleep_and i'mso tired and i...should be complaining because you never get to sleep being head of the institute, this is probably nothing like how you feel. so it's nothing and...i'm sorry i bothered you." he said.

and alec stupidly believed him.

* * *

when alec woke up jace was gone. it wasn't surprising really, his brother usually trained during the morning while everyone else was asleep, but with the way his fever had raged last night he was worried for the blonde. his brother wasn't helpless and he sure as hell wasn't incapable, but it had been forever since the last time he was sick.

alec remembered it, of course he did it was soon after his brother had moved in with them, it was warm in the house and he found the boy sweaty and shivering near passing out in the training room at seven in the morning. he was looked awful and small, alec must have had awesome timing because he caught the blonde as he fainted. the first words he has said directly to alec were "thank you." and he would never ever forget it.

but now alec was awake, he could feel his parabatai but distantly, faint and dizziness flooded the sixth sense the parabatai rune he was given, and somehow he was awake. he also now felt a disgusting wave of sick which he hoped was jace and not him. because he hated being sick.

alec pushed that feeling down as he rolled out of bed checking the time. 8 o'clock, he thought, lovely. at least he got to sleep in a little bit before he was woken up. he felt himself shiver as he made his was out of the warm blankets, eying them with want as he moved.

'jace?' he asked through the bond. he wasn't surprised that he didn't get a respond, he could barely feel the bout of sickness now, which meant his brother had passed out, was on the move or was just repressing it—a habit he really needed to get his brother to break out of. you'd think after all this time—no he had better things to worry about right now.

like finding jace.

he threw on a change of clothes as he made his way through the hallway. he knew most people were awake, because it's rare that any of them got to sleep in. and even if they could, it would be hard to. he guessed everyone had grown into the habit of not sleeping in, they couldn't if they tried. he thought as he walked into someone.

"alec, watch where you're going," the voice of his baby sister echoed to his ears. he immediately backed up a little bit putting his hands up in defense. he chuckled, but then scanned over his sister for any superficial injuries or pain from the encounter.

"sorry iz," he said after a while. "are you ok?"

"i may be younger than you but i'm not fragile you tree. don't worry about us so much, actually i was going to ask you something but you seemed a little preoccupied so never mind," she said with a smile. alec stopped her.

"have you seen jace?"

"no, i thought maybe he would be with you or in the training room." she said.

alec knew he wasn't there, or he could feel him. he just hoped that he was ok. for now until he could find him.

* * *

jace's body felt numb—well kind of. he felt complete and utter electric pain course through his body when he moved but he was freezing. if he wasn't so cold then numb would probably describe how he feels at the moment. he pressed down as hard as he could on his torso.

'it's ok,' he tried to reassure himself, 'its ok because all i have to do is stop the bleeding. it's not that cold, as long as i slow the bleeding or stop it i should be ok.' he pressed farther down as an electric bolt passed through him again.

he tried not to think about what would happen if alec didn't find him, if he couldn't feel any of the pain that he was sending through the rune. he tried not to think about the pain really but that proved harder than the others. he tried to not pass out, that was a little easier.

pain blossomed through his body, he knew he should have brought his stele but he was an idiot. the wound was more than superficial, it was deep and bloody and painful. it went from the bottom of his rib cage to his hip bone (which stuck out a little to much but that was fine).

he could feel his ankle and his head pulsing with their own painful heartbeat. he groaned a little as he felt the concussion...or at least he thought it was. he didn't even remember hitting his head, that was bad right? maybe he didn't he couldn't remember hitting it so maybe he didn't. he shrugged, biting into his lip to cope with the growing pain.

he scanned over his body briefly, bruises coated his wrist and his ankle where he fell and tried to brace himself—which failed. a superficial cut on his cheek and a few that went through his pants and onto his knees, and the exploding pain in his ribs that came alive when he moved. but other than that most of them were non life threatening.

except the laceration.

he didn't remember getting it he just knew the pain, it was a long deep cut and he pressed his jacket into it and sighed at the pain and the amount of blood that was staining it. of course it was his favorite jacket, it was one of his only he chided himself.

he couldn't tell how much time had passed between when he left the institute and when he was fighting the demon to how long he was laid up beside the tree but he assumed it wasn't to long. the sun was out and he could see, so alec was probably awake and looking for him.

hopefully.

before long he felt dark spots dance in front of his eyes before he passed out, praying some sort of link was open between the two of them.

* * *

alec felt an explosion of pain through the ruin on his torso, and unconsciously shot a hand up to rub it over the phantom pain on his chest. he winced at the level of the pain that coursed through his chest and then felt himself pale. he was only feeling a _fraction_of it.

"izzy," he called out, feeling a wave of panic going through him. "izzy, come on i need your help." he called louder, hoping that izzy could here him. he was close to a downright panic attack, a fraction of the pain but it felt like white hot pain shooting through his chest.

"alec? what's wrong?" she asked her voice slightly panicked.

"n-no," he stuttered out, "it's not me it's jace and it's bad."

he hoped that izzy more heard the urgency not the panic because really?—how manly was that. but jace was in pain, and rarely did he ever use the ruin, unless he was in trouble—oh god. alec gasped out loudly as a fresh wave of pain attacked him again.

"oh god—is he? y'know? h-how bad?" izzy asked. she hid her panic or tried to not as well as alec but she tried to keep her composure because panic wouldn't help he really help at all in this situation. "well if you can feel something though the link then that means he's close by right?"

or the pain was that immense, he thought but didn't dare say, izzy was already freaked and that wouldn't help at all, so he gave into a nod and hoped that she wouldn't press the issue, internally crossing his fingers. he scanned izzy's face for any signs of—something or anything really.

alec just really hoped that he wasn't to late to find his parabatai. there was an unmistakable fear that stabbed at him, from him or his brother he didn't know where the source was though, but he was dead scared for the one of the first moments in his entire life.

* * *

jace couldn't remember when he started moving, when he managed to get up —or how really for that matter. but now he wasn't really thinking at the moment. he was now extremely dizzy, and confused and walked forward. he didn't even know where.

the dizziness seemed to rack up with ever step that he took towards somewhere. he didn't even know where he was going, his legs were numb and he was so cold, he could barely feel his hands anymore, he hoped that it wasn't such a bad thing, and that yes this was normal.

his head wasn't hurting as much, probably because he could see the back dots again, and the pressure behind his eyes was building up again. all of the pain was now doubled now that he was up and walking, he wished he could collapse again because at least he wouldn't be in pain.

but he wasn't weak so that wasn't an option, he wasn't a failu—he was he knew he was or else he wouldn't be in this situation. he could feel alec mentally chastising him for thinking that way, but he couldn't help it it was basically ingrained into him—he shouldn't of think that. he needed to get his mind off that.

his body felt to light, but his head felt like lead, it was really weird how utterly sick he felt. he suddenly felt the urge to puke again as the weird almost pain but sort of not feeling increased. his stomach lurched and he could feel hot bile crawl up his throat as he collapsed to his knees praying he would be saved from someone finding him.

he didn't get much chance to think about that before he was puking up water and bile. he felt the disgusting mix splash into the ground in from of him and some of it onto is shirt which was nasty. he retched forcefully as his body shook with pain and effort that it took to heave up the substance.

involuntary tears sprung to his eyes as the pain heightened and the nasty feeling of _sick_filled his bodyas he reached into the ground. he leaned forward doubling onto himself, arms shaking with effort of holding up his body. he couldn't remember the last time he felt so weak and disgusting.

he just wanted alec, alec to hold him and tell him it was ok. or even izzy to comfort him—nope scratch that, he would never want to make her think of him as weak, or weaker than he already was to her probably was. he couldn't breathe right and it was suddenly so hot and that his throat burned.

distantly he wondered if the cut had been infected but it takes about 24 hours for a fever to set in so not much could have happened so far—right? he watched a stream of saliva and bile fall from his lips, the green-yellow coloured mixed was all over the ground and had splashed up on the front of his shirt a little.

he suddenly felt really really dizzy.

—

jace has no idea how long he was out until it was almost dark out, the feint light if the stars showing through the sky. purples and pinks mixed together and it would have been pretty if he wasn't so dizzy and disgustingly dirty. and ready to pass our maybe.

he was close, closer to the institute because he could see it off in the distance and dimly he can see a light from one of the windows. he doesn't have a clue how long it will take him to get there at this point but he knows he's probably good to be sick again.

so he starts waking, hoping that it it wouldn't be to long now, he couldnt judge tbe distance between him and the institute which was really starting to buf him. usually he's good at these things, but right now he was useless and dizzy. he started to loose track if time, eitherrom r t tthe concussion or the fever, but it didnt matter he was almsost hime.

—

"jace?" alec yelled as he felt a strongly dizzying sensation over-power him as he half ran-shuffled to the door of the institute. "jace? is that you what he hell." his voice was nastily high pitched and shaky and embarrassing but it was him. the signature that he was giving off was unmistakably—

"jace! oh my god, oh my god are you ok? what- why am i so- you so dizzy. are you hurt? where were you?" alec could distantly all the eyes from everyone in the institution on him but frankly he didn't care. he had his brother back, and he would literally kill him if he didn't feel like hell right now.

"i-alec," a weirdly dopey smile filled jace's face. "i'm ok, i found you." wow he was feeling really bad, like i'm going to pass out bad and then a pain shot through his ankle and he let out a groan low enough that it would have been hard to hear, unless you we're linked to someone.

"a-alec?"

"what do you need?" he asked ready at his siblings command, it was rare jace was open, rare that he opened the link unless he was finding alec or checking on alec— so really unless something was wrong with alec. so he was ready for whatever his baby brother needed.

"j-just don't let...everyone see...me pass out...ok?" he breathed. a small ghost of a smile spread across his lips as he watched his big brother move to sheild him from watchful eyes of the crowd. and sure enough jace was out cold in alec's arms.

"iz, we need to get him to the infirmary. this can't be good," alec said. he could see the immense contrast with the colour of the bruises and his brothers face, smell what seemed like bile?—on his shirt and the tremendous heat that poured off of his brother. it was far from anywhere 'good'

he didn't know he could move so fast than at that moment where he sped down the hallway in probably record breaking time to drop his brother off at the infirmary. he really needed to redesign the institution why was everything so far spaced out? like seriously?

he chewed his finger nails as he watched people flood the room. whipping out their steles and activating ruins all over the small pale boys body. he watched the orange glow as they were active, sealing up some of the superficial wounds and starting on the deeper ones.

after a while a smaller build doctor came out.

"your brother will be fine," she stated optimistically. "he did break his wrist and sprain his ankle badly, end up with a mid concussion and had a deep laceration to his torso, a few bruised ribs but nothing to bad, we do want to keep him here if that's not a problem because of his fever and fear of an infection settling in the gouge," she finished.

she seemed to scan him up and down before she started speaking again. probably wondering if it had sunk in or not.

"the best thing he can do is sleep, for now which he refuses to do. you can go in and visit him if you would like."

alec pushed past the doctor and made his way into the room to see his brother who was sure enough wide awake with even deeper bruises and bags under his eyes, he seemed smaller and gaunt and it seemed normal which was sickening to alec. but at least he was here.

"alec...i'm sorry i—"

"i just want you to sleep, please. you aren't off the hook but i can't yell at you if you look like you are going to pass out so please?"

and surprisingly enough he listened.

—

**a/n: so we finally did it! i wrote a 3k+ story! i know it's probably awful but it's a start. anyway this will probably end up being a series of some kind because we need more jace whump! in our life. also i'm not sure i like this one at ALL so if i take it down and re-write it that's why. again, it may be a series if it turns out well so help me out :)). on a side note happy holidays!**

**if this does become a series i absOLUTLEY SUck at constant updating so yeah! thanks guys?! so please i ask you! dont hate. i didn't know how to put my ideas into this story because i've been dealings with writers block! so help me out and OH ALSO I MAY TAKE REQUESTS IF IT BECOMES A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC! **


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